Why Your Thoughts Matter

Have you ever noticed how certain thoughts just seem to stick? That low hum of “I’m not doing enough” or “I should be further ahead by now” that loops in the background of your day?

It’s not just random mental chatter — it’s a practiced pattern. And the more often you think it, the stronger it becomes.

Because are brain learns through repetition and we become the thoughts we practice.

Your brain is wired to be efficient and sees patterns as a way to become more efficient. Therefore it is constantly scanning for evidence to support the beliefs you already hold — even the ones that hold you back.

For example, for a long time I held the belief that I didn’t have enough time. As a result I would jam my days back to back, I would procrastinate, as my cortisol was high and I would say yes to things that I should have said no too. All so I could validate my belief that I didn’t have enough time. Essentially thinking it made it true (although so many of us, myself included at times, believe this to be the other way around). But after years of doing this work, I can assure you it’s not. 

Another example is a client of mine had the underlying belief that she “Was only valuable when she was achieving,” and her brain went out of its way to prove it true. She would completely overlook the wins for herself and her girls when she was rested. She dismissed how she felt when she gave herself quiet moments of connection with herself, her friends and family. Instead she was laser focussed everything that needs fixing, improving, or optimising, and saw the feedback she received from others as a testament to the value she provided. Productivity was how she defined her self worth and it became a self-reinforcing cycle. But once she understood the impact of this belief she was able to re-decide how she viewed her value. 

Patterns Need Proof

Belief systems are built like houses — one brick of “evidence” at a time. And if you want to dismantle an unhelpful belief, you can’t just throw affirmations at it, or try to think positive.

You have to go to the level where the belief actually lives: the evidence.

This is where so many of the clients I see have been stuck. They try to change their mindset without changing the inputs. But the brain doesn’t believe what you say — it believes what you show it.

So if you want to change the belief, you need to start by removing the evidence that supports it.

That means gently questioning the stories you tell yourself. It means noticing where you’re reinforcing old patterns and starting to make new choices that show your brain a different reality.

Enter at the Action Level

Let’s say your belief is “I’m not disciplined.” Every time you skip a workout, or don’t follow your plan, your brain catalogs that as more evidence. So instead of trying to willpower your way into a new identity, you start at the ground level.

Change the action (and support yourself as you are trying to take new actions) — maybe you shorten the workout, make it more enjoyable, or plan it during a time you’re actually available. Small wins become new evidence. New evidence leads to new beliefs. And over time, your identity shifts from “I’m not disciplined” to “I show up for myself consistently.”

Shifting old beliefs, can start with one new piece of proof.

The Bottom Line

Your brain is always looking for patterns. The beliefs you carry — about your worth, your ability, your limits — are not fixed truths. They are stories built over time.

So if you want to shift the story, don’t start by forcing new thoughts.

Start by removing the old evidence. Start at the action level. Start small.

Because the thoughts you practice are the ones that become you.

If you need help trying to uncover some hidden beliefs, check out my “Know your Patterns Workbook” it provides a self assessment of 4 common patterns and provides simple ways to explore and start shifting these beliefs.