Why aren’t you taking action?

One of the most frustrating things I hear from my clients is this:
“I have all these goals and plans, but I just can’t seem to take action.”

They’re smart and capable woman who know what they want to do—but still find themselves not doing it. They feel overwhelmed, unmotivated, and stuck. And the big question becomes:
Why?

Here’s the truth I teach my clients:
Everything we do—or don’t do—is because we’re trying to feel a certain way.

We’re constantly chasing positive feelings or avoiding uncomfortable ones. The problem is that most of us believe our emotions are caused by things outside of us—other people, circumstances, the past. So we try to control everything external in order to feel better. But that’s not how it works.

The real cause of our feelings?
Our thoughts.

Let’s break it down:

• Circumstances are the things outside of our control—your past, other people, events.

• Thoughts are the sentences in your mind about those circumstances.

• Feelings are generated by those thoughts.

• Actions are what you do (or don’t do) based on how you feel.

• Results are the outcomes your actions create.

So if you’re not taking action, it’s not a time management issue. It’s not laziness. It’s not a character flaw.

It’s a thought and feeling problem.

The Real Reason You’re Stuck

Most of our thoughts are automatic—we don’t even realise we’re thinking them. We’ve practiced them for years, and they feel like facts. But they’re not. They’re just beliefs we’ve reinforced.

For years, I blamed my external circumstances for how I felt: my weight, my job, my family, even bad drivers on the road. But once I learned that my thoughts were the cause of my feelings, it changed everything. I realised:
If I want to change my results, I have to start with what I think.

A Coaching Example

Let me share an example. A client of mine wanted to build strength by doing regular weight training. She set up a detailed plan and scheduled workouts. But when it came time to exercise—she didn’t.

When we explored what was happening in that moment, she said she felt apathetic. No drive. No motivation.

So we dug deeper: What thought was creating that apathy?

Her answer?
“It won’t matter anyway.”

That single thought was quietly sabotaging her. Despite all her planning and good intentions, the thought “It won’t matter” created a sense of futility, which led to inaction.

Now, most people try to fix this by forcing themselves to act—through motivation, willpower, or strict discipline. But if you don’t change the thought that’s causing the lack of action, you’ll always be fighting yourself.

Why This Matters

This is the heart of coaching. We don’t just focus on what you’re doing—we get curious about why. We explore the real cause: your unconscious thought patterns. Once you identify the thoughts driving your current results, you can choose to change them.

But before you try to replace an unhelpful thought, you have to understand it.

My client had years of evidence from past failed attempts. Her thought “It won’t matter” wasn’t random—it was a protective belief rooted in disappointment and self-doubt. And when she saw it with compassion instead of shame, it loosened its grip. That’s when real change became possible.

Why Willpower Doesn’t Work

Trying to change your actions without changing the thoughts and feelings driving them is like swimming upstream. It’s exhausting—and temporary. That’s why willpower fades.

Your brain wants to be efficient. It prefers to repeat the same thoughts and behaviours over and over. If you try to override that pattern without understanding it, it’s you vs. your own mind.

And in that battle, you’ll always lose.

The Bottom Line

If you’re not taking action in an area of your life, the answer isn’t to push harder.

It’s to pause and get curious:

• What am I really thinking here?

• What feeling is that thought creating?

• What action is that feeling driving?

And most importantly:
Am I willing to change the way I think—so I can feel differently and take the action I truly want?

Change becomes possible when we stop judging ourselves and start understanding ourselves. When we build awareness and choose new thoughts, we create new feelings. From there, we can take new actions and get new results—on purpose.

That’s how you build a life you’re proud of.
Not from force, but from alignment.