What are you really missing out on?

I was listening to a podcast years ago when the host said something that struck me:
“So often, we block ourselves from what we really want.”

That line stopped me.

At the time, I’d been trying to make big changes — not just around wellbeing, but around how I wanted to live and show up. And I kept bumping into the same resistance: the tension between short-term comfort and long-term fulfilment.

For so many high-achieving women I work with, it’s not a lack of goals. It’s the constant tug-of-war between what they say they want… and the tiny, daily choices that take them further away from it.

We want to feel more calm. More in control. More proud of how we’re showing up.
But when the moment comes to say no, to pause, to rest, to set a boundary — something else kicks in.
We feel the discomfort. The pull of “just this once” or “I don’t want to deal with that right now.”

So I started asking myself:
What is the real cost of staying overwhelmed?
What am I actually missing out on by continuing the same patterns?

Like many of my mindset shifts, this one started with a list.

Reasons I often overwork, overcommit, or avoid taking time for myself:

• Not wanting to let anyone down

• Fear of falling behind

• Wanting to feel productive

• Seeking validation

• Avoiding discomfort

• Feeling disconnected

• Just being plain tired

Then I made another list:

What staying stuck was costing me:

• Feeling calm

• Being present with my family

• Trust in myself to follow through

• A sense of progress

• Joy in the day-to-day

• Confidence in my decisions

• My health and sleep

• Time to reflect or dream

And then this:

When I said yes to something I didn’t want to do, just to keep the peace, how did I feel afterward?

• Resentful

• Drained

• Out of integrity

• Frustrated with myself

But when I did the harder thing — setting a boundary, pausing for rest, saying no — even if it was uncomfortable at first, I felt:

• Proud

• Strong

• Aligned

• Clear-headed

• Energised

This exercise helped me realise something powerful:
Yes, short-term discomfort is… well, uncomfortable. But avoiding it often leads to far more emotional clutter: shame, guilt, exhaustion, resentment.

And that was the real thing I was missing out on — relief.

What I really wanted wasn’t to be more productive or perfect.
It was to feel at peace with myself. To stop escaping, and start inhabiting the life I’d worked so hard to build.

So the next time you find yourself automatically saying yes, or picking up your phone instead of resting, or doing “just one more thing” instead of pausing — ask:

“What am I really missing out on when I keep choosing this?”

You might discover the cost is higher than you realised.
And the gain — that sense of calm, confidence, and clarity — is closer than you think.