Know Your Triggers: The Hidden Patterns That Get in Your Way.
When you’re trying to create change—whether it’s sticking to a new routine, building a habit, or achieving a personal or professional goal—it’s easy to assume you just lack discipline or motivation.
But more often than not, the real issue isn’t that you’re unmotivated. It’s that you haven’t uncovered the internal patterns that keep throwing you off track.
Our brains love to make things feel overwhelming. It’s almost like they’re whispering, “This is going to be hard. Don’t even start.” It’s a protection mechanism. If your brain can convince you it’s too much, it gets to avoid the discomfort of growth.
Over the years, I’ve noticed two things that have helped me (and many of my clients) actually follow through on change:
A clear, compelling vision of what I want—something that excites and inspires me.
A simple, realistic weekly plan to break that vision down into doable steps.
When I’m introducing a new habit, I always ask: What’s the smallest version of this I can commit to without resistance? The goal is to make the barrier to entry so low that my brain doesn’t object.
Take something as simple as body care. I’ve wanted to exfoliate and moisturise twice a week—not every day, not for 30 minutes, just twice. And even then, I still caught myself resisting it at the end of a long day.
So I picked two specific days and times I was most likely to follow through, and committed. Not to perfection. Just to progress.
This same approach applies to any change you're trying to make—whether it's preparing for a new role, improving your wellbeing, showing up differently at work or in relationships.
And at the heart of it all are your triggers.
What’s a Trigger, Really?
A trigger is anything that elicits an emotional response that leads you to take a certain action. Sometimes you’re aware of it, but often, it’s running in the background, shaping your behaviour without you even realising.
For example, I’ve noticed that when someone raises their voice at me, I tend to shut down. It’s not a conscious decision. My brain and body just go into "freeze" mode—I speak in short sentences, I mentally check out. It's a coping mechanism I learned somewhere along the way.
Another trigger? The smell of freshly baked bread. It immediately takes me back to childhood, to comfort, to safety. It stirs up desire—not for the bread itself, but for the feeling it represents.
These triggers aren’t good or bad. They’re just patterns. The important part is noticing them.
Bringing Awareness to the Pattern
If you’re finding it hard to stick to something or make progress, take a look at your day. Where do things fall apart? Where do you check out, procrastinate, or abandon your plan?
Was it after a tense meeting?
Was it at 3pm when your energy crashed?
Was it a moment of boredom, comparison, frustration, or self-doubt?
What kicked off that response? Was it an email? A comment from someone? A feeling in your body?
Triggers can be emotional, mental, physical, environmental—even visual. The key is starting to notice them.
Try This:
Over the next few days, whenever you find yourself not doing the thing you planned—pausing your work, skipping your routine, procrastinating—ask yourself:
What happened right before this?
What was I feeling?
What was I thinking?
What triggered this moment?
Then, get curious:
Does this action support the change I want to create? Or is it getting in the way?
You don’t need to change everything all at once. You don’t even need to fix the trigger right away.
Just start by noticing. That awareness is the first step toward creating change.
When you uncover the patterns that are currently running the show, you take back the power to decide whether they still serve you—or whether it’s time to rewire something new.
Because true, lasting change doesn’t happen through willpower.
It happens through awareness, compassion, and conscious direction.
