Losing weight for the last time
By the time most women reach their forties, they’ve already tried everything—diets, detoxes, bootcamps, calorie counting, green powders, fasting apps, you name it.
And for a while? Some of them work.
But as you probably already know, the weight always seems to come back. Often with a little extra.
I know this cycle personally. For years, I’d white-knuckle my way through diets—miserable, hungry, counting down the days until it was over. “Only five more days… only two more…”
I'd lose the weight.
And then I’d put it straight back on.
What I’ve come to understand—and what I now help my clients see—is this:
You don’t lose weight for good by resisting your desire.
You lose it for good by retraining your brain.
Why Diets Don’t Work Long-Term
Most diets are built around suppression.
They tell you what you can’t eat.
They rely on willpower, force, and a promise that “it’ll all be worth it in the end.”
But here’s the problem:
Resisting desire takes energy. And that energy eventually runs out.
That’s why you can start your day strong and by 3pm, the biscuits in the pantry are suddenly irresistible. It’s not that the biscuits got more delicious. It’s that your capacity to resist has been slowly draining all day.
Resisting something repeatedly doesn’t reduce your desire for it—it intensifies it.
Let me explain this with a classic psychology study.
What Pavlov’s Dogs Can Teach Us About Dieting
You might’ve heard of Pavlov and his dogs. In his experiment, dogs were trained to salivate at the sound of a bell, because it was repeatedly followed by food.
Eventually, just the bell—no food—would cause them to drool.
Then, he stopped giving them food after the bell. At first, they still salivated. But over time, with repetition and no food, the salivation response faded.
That’s reconditioning.
But here’s the kicker:
If you pause the experiment, and then suddenly ring the bell again—boom, the dogs start drooling again. The desire floods back, often stronger than before.
This is how most diets work.
You suppress desire for weeks or months, and then the restriction ends—so your brain floods back in with craving.
It’s not your lack of willpower. It’s conditioning.
The Real Solution: Allowing, Not Resisting
If you want to lose weight without suffering—if you want it to actually last—you need to recondition your brain.
And to do that, you have to stop resisting your desire and start allowing it.
Let me show you what this looks like in real life:
Imagine you're at a party and someone offers you a tray of canapés. You’re tempted to eat five. But you’ve already decided ahead of time to enjoy just two.
After those two, your brain will protest:
“Come on, have more—it’s a special occasion. One more won’t hurt.”
It might throw a full tantrum.
That discomfort you feel? That’s your brain adapting. And while it’s uncomfortable at first, it doesn’t last forever.
If you consistently allow the desire without giving in—meaning you sit with it, feel it, observe it, and don’t act on it—it starts to lose power.
Just like the dogs who eventually stopped drooling when no food came.
Over time, the drama in your head disappears. You don’t argue with yourself. You don’t feel pulled or deprived. You just… eat what you planned. And move on.
The Power of 100 Reps
I like to track how many times I don’t respond to a desire.
And what I’ve found is that after about 100 “reps” of allowing the urge without giving in… the urge disappears. Completely.
Imagine how different your life would feel if you could sit next to a bowl of chips, a bottle of wine, a block of chocolate—and feel totally in control. No white-knuckling. No shame spiral. Just peace.
That confidence? That trust in yourself?
It spills into everything—your relationships, your energy, your self-belief.
Losing weight becomes just one of the many things that feels easier.
Try This This Week
Pick one day.
Write down what you plan to eat—and stick to it.
When you feel the urge to eat something extra or different, don’t distract yourself. Don’t run away from it.
Just allow it.
Be curious:
What does this desire feel like in my body?
What thoughts are coming up?
How long does it last?
What happens when I just let it be there?
Then afterwards, notice how you feel.
Notice the pride. The confidence. The internal strength of following through.
It takes practice. But it’s a game-changer.
You don’t need more restriction.
You need a brain that’s no longer obsessed with food that doesn’t serve you.
This is how you lose weight for the last time—without suffering.
And this is the work that lasts.
