Going after what you want
As women, we’re often taught from a young age that we are carers — that our role is to ensure everyone around us is okay. It becomes second nature to think about what others need and how we can help. Over time, we become so good at tuning into everyone else, that we stop asking ourselves the one question that matters most:
“What do I want?”
You’ve likely heard the phrase, what you practice is what you become good at. And it’s true — so many of my clients can tell me exactly what their partner, kids, or boss needs. But when I ask them what they want, there’s often a long pause. It’s not a question they’ve had the space, or permission, to consider in a long time.
The result? They’ve spent years putting their own dreams and goals last — and when they finally do prioritise themselves, it’s often with guilt or hesitation.
But I’ve learned — through my own experience and through coaching other women — that change only happens when we stop, get honest, and ask:
“What do I really want?”
Without judgement. Without excuses. And then allow ourselves to believe:
I’m worthy of that. I deserve to want what I want.
For over 20 years, I had a successful corporate career. From the outside, it ticked all the boxes. But it wasn’t until I asked myself what I really wanted that I realised the path I was on no longer aligned with who I was becoming. It was more about what was expected of me than what I deeply desired.
That moment of truth changed everything.
I realised I wanted to help women achieve their goals. Not just career goals — but goals that feel deeply personal. I wanted to support women who feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and like they’ve lost touch with their spark. Women who’ve been waiting for permission to want more.
Through coaching, I help women identify and gently dismantle the unconscious beliefs and stories that keep them stuck. Because here’s the thing:
You don’t have to prove yourself to want something more.
You don’t need to justify it.
What you want matters — because you matter.
But here’s where most of us get stuck:
We’re not sure our desires are valid.
We fear that prioritising ourselves makes us selfish, or that we’ll let others down.
These beliefs aren’t personal failings. They’re just well-worn thought patterns that your brain has rehearsed to keep you “safe.” But what they really do is keep you small. And they hold you back from the life you deeply want.
Let’s shift that. Try journaling these prompts:
If you believed that what you wanted truly mattered, what would you do differently?
If you gave yourself permission to prioritise your goals, how would your week change?
What is stopping you from taking those actions today?
What are 4 small steps you could take this week to move closer to your goal?
Your brain will resist change. That’s its job — it’s trying to protect you from the unknown. But the more clarity and certainty you create around what you want and how to get there, the easier it becomes to move forward.
Remember:
Every dream starts with a decision — to believe it’s possible, and to believe you’re worth it.
