How your feelings impact your ability to create change.

In the article Why Aren’t You Taking Action, we explored the thoughts we have on a daily basis — the ones we often assume are facts simply because we’ve been thinking them for so long. We started to question whether those thoughts are actually true, and looked at how they shape how we feel.

Hopefully, you’ve been experimenting with thought downloads to build awareness of your thinking and emotional patterns. Because that awareness is the first step toward real change.

Now, let’s take it a step further.

Today, we’re going to look at how your feelings influence the actions you take — and how those actions are creating the results you’re currently experiencing in your life.

Let me pause here for a moment, because this is where things often get flipped.

Many of us believe our results — our stress, our burnout, our relationships, our performance — are caused by the circumstances around us. Whether it’s your job, your boss, your workload, your partner, or your schedule, it’s easy to assume those external factors are the problem.

But what I’m offering is something different:
It’s not the circumstances, but how we think about them that creates how we feel — and from that feeling, we act. And those actions are what create our results.

Let’s break that down with an example.

Circumstance: You receive critical feedback at work.
Thought: “I’m not good enough — they’ve finally seen it.”
Feeling: Shame
Action: You retreat, over-analyse everything, avoid taking up space
Result: You play smaller, reinforce the belief you’re not good enough

Now imagine a different thought in the same situation:

Thought: “Feedback helps me grow — it means they believe in me.”
Feeling: Motivated
Action: You reflect, ask questions, make a plan to improve
Result: You grow, take action, and show up with confidence

Same circumstance — totally different outcome, all because of the way you think.

This is why it’s so powerful to uncover the thought–feeling combinations that are quietly driving your behaviour.

Many high-performing women I work with feel stuck because they’re taking actions that don’t align with what they truly want. They procrastinate, overwork, avoid hard conversations, or say yes when they mean no.
And often, they tell me:

“I don’t know why I do it. It just happens.”
But it doesn’t just happen. There’s a feeling behind it. And there’s a thought behind that feeling.

When you shine a light on those inner loops — the invisible soundtrack running the show — things start to change.

One common example? The thought:

“I don’t want to let anyone down.”

It seems harmless. Even noble.
But when that thought creates anxiety, you end up saying yes to everything, overcommitting, and slowly burning out — just to avoid disappointing others.

Ironically, the very thing you’re trying to avoid (letting others down) becomes more likely, because you’re stretched too thin.

Another sneaky pattern is driven by fear of missing out — not just socially, but professionally.
The worry that “If I slow down, I’ll fall behind” can keep you trapped in a cycle of constant doing, where rest feels unsafe and presence feels impossible.

When you begin identifying the thought–feeling–action chain, you take back control.

Here’s how to start uncovering your own:

Try this exercise:

1. Think of a goal you have — something you want to change or create in your life.

2. List 10 actions you believe you’d need to take to achieve that goal.

3. Now list 5 obstacles — reasons, excuses, or challenges that get in the way of taking those actions.

4. For each obstacle:

   • Identify how it makes you feel.

   • Notice what action (or inaction) you tend to take from that feeling.

5. Choose 2 of the original actions you’d like to take.

6. For each action, ask yourself:

   • How would I need to feel in order to take that action?

   • What would I need to think to generate that feeling?

This is where change really starts.

Because to consciously create the results you want in life, you have to consciously choose your thoughts, feelings, and actions — instead of running on autopilot.

This work doesn’t mean ignoring hard circumstances.
It means learning how to meet them with a mindset that supports you, rather than keeps you stuck.

You don’t need to overhaul your life to feel better.
You just need to understand what’s really driving your actions — and from there, you can shift the results you're creating.