How you spend your days, is how you spend your life
A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. I finished treatment six months ago, and while the experience was far from easy—filled with aggressive treatments and endless hospital visits—I recently found myself reflecting on that year… and strangely, missing it.
I know that might sound bizarre. It even unsettled me at first. How could a year spent battling cancer feel, in some ways, more nourishing than “normal life”?
So I looked under the hood.
I wanted to understand why I found that intense, uncertain year more fulfilling than the last six months of “back to normal.” What was I truly missing?
What I Loved About That Year
I began by listing everything I appreciated during treatment:
More space in my day to think
Not constantly feeling like I was letting people down
No longer running from one place to the next
Less guilt and self-criticism
Being present, really present
Walking my son to and from school without rushing
A quiet mind—free from the constant hum of work stress
Deep care for my body
Daytime yoga and daily walks
More quality time with family
Real, heartfelt connection with friends
Kind, encouraging self-talk
Gratitude for my body, even in illness
More time in nature
Nourishing food choices that supported healing
As I reviewed this list, three clear themes emerged:
Mind & Thoughts – Less guilt, more gratitude.
Body & Self-Care – A deep, conscious investment in my physical wellbeing.
Connection – Stronger presence with family, friends, and myself.
The Mental Shift
What stood out most was how my mindset shifted. Cancer gave me permission to put myself first. I became fiercely protective of my mental energy. I didn’t indulge in guilt or overwhelm. I focused on how I could support myself and my son.
I didn’t want to fall into victimhood, so I made intentional choices about how I thought. I wasn’t reacting to life—I was directing it.
Post-treatment, without that clear mental focus, I noticed old habits creeping back in: people-pleasing, guilt, stress. My default thoughts took over again. And I started to see just how easy it is to slip into living life at the mercy of your thoughts rather than in alignment with your values.
Caring for My Body
Throughout treatment, my relationship with food and self-care completely shifted.
I stopped turning to chocolate or wine because I was stressed. Instead, I tuned into what my body actually needed.
It felt like there were three parts of me: my self, my mind, and my body. For most of my life, my mind had been the unruly child—demanding, critical, and impulsive—pushing my body beyond its limits. But during treatment, that flipped. My mind became the caretaker. It started asking: What does my body need? And that small shift changed everything.
Real Connection
Because I was no longer driven by stress and guilt, I was able to be truly present with people. Even though I spent less time with friends and family, the time we shared felt richer, more meaningful. I wasn’t multitasking, I wasn’t checking my phone. I was there.
Time slowed down. I had space to breathe, reset, and ask myself what actually mattered.
The Realisation
Across all three areas—mind, body, and connection—I was consciously choosing how I spent my time. Cancer gave me the clarity to prioritise myself without apology. And paradoxically, it brought a calm I hadn’t experienced before.
But I don’t want the best year of my life to be the one I spent fighting for it.
So over the next six months, I’m committing to:
Mind / Thoughts
Being deliberate in my daily decisions
Redirecting guilt or overwhelm into gratitude and acceptance
Creating space to decompress and reflect, so I don’t live on autopilot
Body / Self-Care
Building my weekly schedule around what supports me
Walks, yoga, stretching, massages
Eating and drinking with intention—not out of habit, but care
Connection
Making a list of what makes me feel connected and planning for it
Scheduling catch-ups and nature walks in advance
Prioritising time outdoors and moments of joy
We often think we’re building toward a life we love—one day. But the truth is, how we spend our days is how we spend our life.
If you feel stuck, uninspired, or constantly chasing “when things calm down,” I invite you to pause and reflect:
👉 When was the last time you truly felt happy or aligned?
👉 What made that time feel good?
Use those answers to guide how you build your days now.
Because what last year taught me is this:
It wasn’t the circumstance that made that time meaningful.
It was how I thought, how I cared for myself, and how I connected—with life and with others.
Happiness isn’t waiting on the other side of achievement, more time, or more money.
It’s here. In how you think, care, and connect—with yourself and the world around you.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
— Annie Dillard
