Getting out of a rut

As kids, we dream big. We imagine exciting futures—finishing school, travelling the world, building careers, falling in love, buying homes, having kids, and living a meaningful life.

And for many of us, those dreams come true. We tick the boxes. Some moments bring joy, others bring pain—but eventually, something shifts.

Somewhere along the way, we stop dreaming.

We reach the milestones we once imagined—and then find ourselves asking: Now what?

We get so caught up in the daily rhythm of surviving that we forget to ask what we truly want next. We lose faith that we can have more, so we stop hoping for it. And even when we do dream, we downsize our desires—calling it realistic when really, we’re just trying to protect ourselves from disappointment.

But here’s the truth:
Going after what you want doesn’t drain your energy.
Living out of alignment with what you want is what drains you.

I hear it all the time from clients:
"I can’t chase my dreams—I’m too exhausted."
But they’re not exhausted from dreaming.
They’re exhausted from ignoring what they want.
From swimming against the current of their own life.

Trying to rewrite the past or forcing yourself through a life that no longer fits is what truly wears you down.

Many of the women I work with feel ashamed for wanting more.
They tell themselves they should just be grateful—but deep down, they feel stuck, disconnected, and like there’s nothing to look forward to.

And often, they haven’t even paused to ask what they want.
They know what their kids want. What their partner wants. What their parents or boss expect. But when I ask them what they want? There’s silence.

They’re not lazy. They’re not ungrateful.
They’ve just stopped dreaming.

Life starts to feel like autopilot.
Wake up (tired). Get the kids ready. Go to work. Pick them up. Cook dinner. Put away washing. Scroll Instagram. Go to bed—repeat.
Weekends aren’t rest, they’re just full. Full of to-do lists and obligations. And somehow, even in all the busyness, life feels flat.

If this feels familiar—if you're just getting through the days, unsure of what you're even working toward—I want to encourage you to take a breath and ask yourself:

What do I want now?

Do you want…

• More connection with your partner?

• A creative or fulfilling career?

• To feel less overwhelmed?

• More presence with your kids?

• A stronger sense of self?

• To start your own business?

• A life that feels like yours again?

Whatever it is, I invite you to dream big.
Here’s a simple practice to get started:

REFLECT
Write down 10 outcomes you want to create in the next phase of your life.
Circle the five that feel most exciting or meaningful.

REALIGN
Do a time audit—track how you actually spend your time.
How much of your time is aligned with those five outcomes?

RECOMMIT
Take one small action this week that moves you toward one of those outcomes.
It could be scheduling a date night, booking a course, or simply making space to reflect.

Here’s a personal reminder from my own life:
Last night, I made an unnecessary comment to my partner.
He gently asked, “Do you think saying every thought that pops into your head is useful?”

Oof. A great reminder that if I want a loving, connected relationship, I need to be intentional.
Connection isn’t built by default—it’s built by design.

So this week, let yourself reflect.
Dream a little. Get curious about what you want to create with the life you have left.

You don’t need a five-year plan or a perfectly scheduled calendar.
You just need a sense of direction.
And the courage to believe you still get to want more.

It’s not indulgent to dream.
It’s essential.